"Love"

We are here to love. That's all I know. Everything else gets so loud and murky sometimes. I find myself getting caught up in all the opinions for a little while, trying to do the thing that I do, make sense of it, see the human behind the words however harsh they may be, try to understand, try to relate, try to care and see that in the differences maybe there is a similarity. I do that for awhile until most of the time I get chewed up and spit out and land back on my butt even more confused than I was before I logged on and started reading anyway. All I know is that my heart hurts for everyone that is hurting right now and my heart rejoices for those that see the beauty in life and who gain freedom and equality. Shouldn't we all wake up feeling free?  I feel all of those things. Many people are hurt in the world and want love. I want love, I hurt sometimes. I am human. Maybe you are, too? Maybe you are gay or a Christian or you are black or white or Latino or have been abused by another human or maybe you are many of those things that really don't even define you. Maybe you are scared of putting yourself out there and fumble around like me.

You know what though? We are all pretty brave.

And we aren't very different from each other. Republican and Democrat, we are all pretty similar. We want protection for our families, we want to be treated fairly. We want to be cared about and care about others. We want others to understand us. To see us.

We want to be loved. In my mind this is what defines me: the way we are so very human yet with a great capacity to love, nurture, care and accept love into our hearts and let it transform us if we choose to. I don't know about you, but I have been so very lucky to have some hard love in my life. I say it's hard because love is a verb and it's an action. It feels like a tough weight to lift sometimes, to let love in enough to break that hard spot in our hearts that wants to be right. To put others before ourselves in a way that feels like it's the right thing to do, albeit not always the easiest. Love looks a lot like kindness, like compassion, like a question instead of a statement.

Learning to love as a human also looks a little like a debate sometimes and maybe even a little like a wrestling match. It's okay. I think love is worth wrestling with and love is worth learning about.

 

When I look at rainbows, I see love.

 

When I look at church steeples, I see love.

When I look at sunsets I see love.

When I see black and white and brown skin, when I hear different languages, when I allow myself to really see the differences and how they make us beautiful and unique, I see love. When I see children I see love and redemption. A symbol of a chance to get it right.

 

I don't always know the answers and often appear idealistic and juvenile but truly, in my mind, it's pretty simple. It's just the journey to get there that challenges us, scares us, tests us.

These lyrics by The Avett Brothers keep running through my mind.  I have read so many words and heard so many statements, I have locked myself in my mind and let it all swirl around in there and it channeled itself back out with the simplicity of this:

Temporary is my time
Ain't nothin' on this world that's mine
Except the will I found to carry on.

Free is not your right to choose
It's answering what's asked of you
To give the love you find until it's gone.

Love. Amen.